THE DARK SIDE OF MINE

I have something to share with you. There's a place that I know. It's not pretty there and no one have ever gone except me; and if I show it to you now will it make you run away? Or will you stay with me..even if it hurts and even if I try to push you out will you return? That is the dark side of mine..I believe that everybody's got a dark side, so do I. Well, nobody's a picture perfect but we're worth it. We deserve a life, a happy one. When talking about the dark side of my life, I felt like crying. I hate my dark side. I tried to escape from it, till now. It's kind of hunting me. you know...Sometimes I seems to be in a war. A war within myself. A war between my lust and my sense, the rightful one. Sometimes I got tired in that battlefield. I once have been lost in my dark world, but alhamdulillah, I still have chances. HE had given me chances for me to get out of the dark. But, as a normal human being and as the creature that the Satan promised to lure and to be dragged to the hellfire, I sometimes lost the fight. And, when I realized it, it makes me feel like I don't deserved to be forgiven. I regret and I hate that. I am ashamed of myself. I too ashamed to ask for HIS forgiveness. But, my dark and empty soul need to be purified. I need to be at ease, my soul's thirst of happiness, the real one which is MAWADDAH. the absolute calm. And once I succeed the battle, it satisfied my soul. So, moral of the story, in order to be success in the fight..you have to remember HIM always, prioritize HIM in every aspects of you and IN SHA ALLAH, the success is yours. Leaving HIM only makes you and your soul AIMLESS and USELESS. Soon, it will become the lost soul. As a message to you and myself, just remember this.. HASBI RABBI JALLALLAH, MA FI QALBI GHAIRULLAH..PUT HIM FIRST BEFORE OTHERS.. Alhamdulillah, thank you ALLAH for giving me all the chances in this fragile world.